Where to begin....

I had an emotional breakdown last week. It was just so out of character for me I still cant believe it happened. Long story short, its been awhile since I've felt this alone. I just got up and left at 5 am because I couldnt take it anymore, I was so fed up of all the shit people pull. There was a snow storm going on at the time, and me and my honda civic (the millennium falcon) drove through it. Everyone I know thought it was a suicide attempt, but I just want to get away from everyone. I dont even know how to explain it myself. I just blasted iggy pop and drove throw a snowy hell. I just kept driving till my car slipped did a 360 hit the rail and fell into a ditch. What scares me is that I wasnt even phased. I really do think I might have a death wish. A lot more happened but I dont feeling like reveling details. I ended up parking in of a 7-ll in the next state and curled up in the back of my car, Minor Threat still playing in the background, not really caring how cold I got because I was finally alone.

I'm home now. My car is the shop now because the front is damaged from the rail. Its Saturday night and I'm alone in my room. Everyone has been like "Come to this Party!," "Go to this show!," or my favorite "Help us break into here!" I'm just blowing them all off, I honestly dont care for them anymore. There is one person's opinion I do care about, but I cant even talk to them. I have a fist full of pain killers next to me right now. I plan on taking them all tonight.